Hello reader! I know it has been far too long and I promised you a post about my birthday. I haven't forgotten!! I am just so busy these days. This is going to be a pretty long post I think because I have so much to catch you up on. Life has been quite eventful lately.
So I'll get a few things out of the way first.
Mood: Excellent
Life: Busy
Homesickness: Manageable
School: Better
German: Constantly Improving
Overall feelings about life, the universe, and all that jazz: Mysterious...but good. =P
I think you can probably tell that I am on a bit of a sugar high, but story comes a lot later. So stay tuned.
Okay now I'm going to focus on what's kept me so busy! My last post was September 19th, so I'll begin by filling you in the September 20th. That was the day when I was going to hang out with some friends from school for the first time outside of school. It was one of the girls birthday's so we were going to go her 18th birthday party and then four of us including myself would stay overnight.
Needless to say I was nervous, terrified, and excited. (In that order.) As my parents and sister know. I bought and recieved a ridiculous amount of Canadiana stuff which I took to Germany. So I dug through all of this random stuff and pieced together a present for her. I also bought her some German chocolate, just in case she thought the rest of the present was incredibly lame.
Theresa was going to take me to the party, and I had just over an hour before we would meet and catch a train the short distance to Louisa's house. (My guest parents couldn't take me and neither could Theresa's so hence the train ride.) So anyways I went for a walk with Anton. We had been walking for about 20 minutes when my handy (that's what German's call a cell phone) began to ring. Now let me tell you, I was so surprised! Here, I am not used to having my phone ring. I only use it to communicate with my host parents or to ask Theresa when we meet in the morning. Anyways, it was Theresa and our train was coming earlier than expected. So she asked if I could meet her at her house in 5 minutes. I said yes, gosh what else could I say.
So I literally ran back to the house. I was there in 5 minutes and I had 5 minutes to change, grab my stuff, and bolt to Theresa's house. I was a few minutes late, but considering how far I was from the house when she called I did an incredible job!
We caught the train and went to the party. It was a really fun time. Louisa also pulled me aside and told me how wonderful the present was that I gave her. I was so happy. This was the moment when Louisa and I grew a little closer. So we ate, talked, listened to music, and played some table Fußball. It was a fun time. For the most part people didn't talk to me much, but Theresa and a few other girls tried to include me.
The sleep over was fun and in the morning I had peanut butter. CRUNCHY peanut butter. Seriously I died on the spot right then. It was amazing. I have´missed peanut butter so much. We had peanut butter once at my guest family's, but it wasn't the crunchy kind. (Believe me I wasn't complaining.) Anyways, horray for crunchy peanut butter. I'm rather perdictable for what I eat at breakfast in Canada. Every morning I have a glass of milk, a piece of toast with crunchy peanut butter and jam, and most of the time I also have half a grapefruit. No longer is this the case, but hey it's good to mix it up a little! I just miss my peanut butter.
That evening I went with my host father to the neighbours house where we met his acting trouppe. He acts every year in the villages theatre production. Isn't that cool!! So anyways the reason for this evening meeting was too watch the DVD of last year's play. It was all in German and the acoustics weren't great, so I understood very little, but it was fun to watch. People were also very kind to me.
After that I made invitations for my birthday party for the next weekend on Saturday (which just happens to be today). Monday was a bit of an intense day. I handed out my invitations and wow that took all the courage I had in me. I felt a bit sick to my stomache and I also felt like I might faint. I think I worked myself up a little. I was just so nervous to approach them and so nervous for the party and what I would do or say. I feel rather handicapped here, because I am unable to say all that I want to say.
About half way through the day I got this awful headache. My head was just banging. I made it through the day, but when I got home I watched an entire disc of Gilmore Girls in German. I just couldn't be bothered to do anything. I was going to go for a run or for a walk, but my head was just throbbing.
Tuesday was better because my raging headache was gone. Horray! I gave out the last of my invitations and one of the girls from some of my classes who is friends with a few girls in the group that I hang out with invited me to go with her and another girl for coffee, because our English class was cancelled. That was really nice. Both of the girls spoke with me in German, everyone at school does, and they included me in their conversations. It was a nice time.
I want so bad for them to like me. By no means am I going to change who I am just to have them like me, but I want to find those people who like me and enjoy my company. There are times when I am quite lonely here. So this coffee outing was definetly a step in the right direction.
There were more birthdays in my class today. So there was more cake. Wow there are a lot of September birthday's here. At my school back in Canada, this was not the case. Stephan told me to count 9 months back. Gosh! Sorry mom and dad, but I don't want to think about that! I know you understand!
After school Stephan took me to the local library. Oh you have no idea how excited I was! He said that they had a large movie collection that I could look at for movies to watch in German. We picked out a bunch of DVD'S, a German book for me to try to read, and some German grammar CD roms. (They are meant for German pupils so they are all in German. I don't know if they will be a great help.) The library was so cute! I was so happy. =) Then we went shopping for all the supplies for my birthday meal the next day and for the two cakes were were making. (One cake for the family and one for school.)
We made my cake for school when we got home. It is a fairly basic cake which we made in a bunt pan, but it has this special chocolate that would cut into pieces that was scattered throughout the cake. Then we covered the cake with chocolate. (Not icing, but just chocolate.) As Stephan was pouring on the chocolate I stuck Haribo Gummi Bears on it!! (These are a German speciality.) It was Stephan's idea and it was unbelievably cute!!! I have pictures!!!
We made the first part of the second cake which was a traditional Black Forest Cake, but as it turns out North American's have butchered the recipe for that cake. It is really different here and I'm glad, because I am not a huge fan of this cake back home. My host father and Jonas highly recommended I try it here so I trusted their judgment. This year is all about embracing a culture, so that's exactly what I did.
Stephan and I stayed up really late talking, youtubing ridiculously funny videos, and going through a lot of his music. I've found some new German bands to check out. Our taste of music isn't dead on, but there are definetly some bands that I will check out. It was fun! He is really good to me and I am so grateful. It was a little later than I wanted to stay up because I had school the next day, but I'm glad I stayed up.
So this leads me to my birthday. So, I was feeling a lot of emotions that morning. First of all I was really nervous to go to school. In Germany, on your birthday you bring a cake to share with your class. My host mother thought I should bring one too so Stephan and I made one. I was kind of nervous to do this because I wasn't sure if I should. I wondered if it would be awkward and if the students would be like, "What is she doing?" But then I figured that was silly because everyone loves cake so there would be no questions asked. I wasn't really sure what to expect at school and I wasn't sure what it was going to be like celebrating my birthday with my guest family.
Well, I need to say that all of that worry was for nothing and I had a really great day. It all started off with the outfit I chose. My parents sent me this beautiful necklace and earrings from my favourite store in Lethbridge-- Edit. I had my eye on the necklace before I left, but I didn't get it. Well my mom bought it for me the day after I left. (That's pretty much the sweetest thing ever.) Anyways, it is gorgeous and the designer is Canadian. It's a stylized heart, but not the cutsy <3. It's the shape of an actual human heart. It is beyond cute! So I wore it!
I came downstairs and my host mother was there. She had a candle at my place setting and on my plate in M & M's she had made the number 18. It was so cute. ( I have pictures!!!) She knows I eat a toast in the morning, so she got that for me. It was really sweet. Usually I drive with Theresa to school, but today my host mother took me to school. She had my cake all packaged up and ready for me, too. I also got a really warm hug from her and warm wishes. I was so touched.
So she took me to school and like the first day of school my legs shook as I walked up the steps. I found Theresa and the first thing she did was come over hug me and said Happy Birthday in German which is, Alles gut zum Geburtstag. Then she gave me a little cake in the shape of a heart topped with chocolate and in sprinkles it said 18. I was really touched. Then Julia came rushing up and gave me the cutest little card and wished me a happy birthday. All the girls from the group I hang out with at school also wished me a happy birthday and they all gave me hugs.
So all throughout the day this happened. People wished me a happy birthday, they shook my hand, and then they hugged me. It was so wonderful. I was seen...and I got hugs. Oh gosh I've missed that. Some of the girls had known it was my birthday in advance because they had asked me and I had told them. Theresa and Julia must have passed this information around to a lot of the other people. The cake was in a bag, so it wasn't noticeable that today was my birthday. Anywas that was super sweet of the two of them.
I gave out my cake in Math. People really liked it, but HELLO it was chocolaty goodness! I also brought Canada pencils, Canada stickers, and Canada pins which I gave out. People were really excited about that. I wondered if they would think it was a bit lame, but they were really excited about it. I was so thrilled. We had a fire drill near the end of class and while we were outside I had a group of 5 guys approach me and thank me for the Canadian stuff and then they all wished me a happy birthday. Wow that was pretty cool.
My Physics class was cancelled so I got to go home an hour early. I was pretty excited and my day at school had been great. When I got home I went for another run. It was nice, because it was overcast so it was still cool. It wasn't raining like it had been for the last few days and my run in the forest was breathtaking.
I got back and Stephan and I finished off the Black Forest Cake. We had a traditional Kaffee und Kuchen (Coffee and Cake) in the afternoon. Stephan, a friend of his I had met, Ann, her boyfriend, and my second host mother were all there. (Both my host parents were at work, and Jonas was at school.) Anyways, it was so elegant. The table had fresh pink roses courtesy of my guest mother's beautiful rose garden, candels, the good plates, cups, and of course the wonderful Black Forest Cake. (I have pictures!!!) I felt incredibly grown up. That's one thing about this birthday which has been so different. I actually feel older.
My second host mother had called to say she wanted to drop of a gift for me so Stephan invited her to our little party. It was great because I was included some, but not enough to be overwhelmed. All of the conversation was naturally in German. Her gift was so nice. I need to give you some background information so you understand it. Here in Germany a lot of the students use pens which have tips like calligraphy pens. There is ink inside of them so they aren't dipping the pens in ink or anything, but they are really neat. Anyways that's what she bought me. The present was lovely and I was thrilled that she knew it was my birthday. She had made the effort to know. She is a sweet lady.
After people left Stephan and I began making supper. I had asked for butter chicken, vegetable curry, and naan bread. (Ann had looked up some recipes on the internet.) They had asked me to choose what I wanted so naturally it was East Indian food. It's my favourite and they really wanted me to choose so I did. Anyways, we had a lot of fun making it. We actually made Naan from scratch. It was soooooo good. The butter chicken was good, but different from what we have at home. It was so fun! The vegetable curry was a bit more like a soup, but it also tasted good.
Before we ate I was up in my room writing in my diary and I heard a knock on my door. Lutz, my host father, comes in and gives me a big hug and wished me a happy birthday. My this time I had recieved so many hugs. I was just thrilled! When Jonas came home he also gave me a big hug and wished me a happy birthday. It was really nice.
Then it was present time. They bought me some really nice things. They bought me Stephenie Meyers new book Breaking Dawn, a fashion drawing book, tickets to a German hockey game in Kassel, and some chocolate. It was really nice of them. Then I wrapped up the evening by watching a movie called Snow Falling on Cedars. It was pretty good. So all in all it was a wonderful day. I have a small paragraph I wrote down on my birthday that I wanted to make sure to include in the blog. Here it is:
"So you know that stupid smile you get when wou can't stop thinking about that special someone and how you can't wipe it off of your face? Well that's me today, but it has nothing to do with a boy. This goofy smile is stuck on my face because today is my birthday and get this reader, it has been wonderful...."
Thursday was a pretty long day, because I have had such little sleep this week and it was a very early morning and long day. Theresa and Julia invited me to go with them to the cinema on Friday night. I was really touched by the invitation, but I had already RSVP'd to go to a party that my 3rd host family was having. I had never met them so I thought it was important for me to go. 8 of the 11 girls I invited RSVP's for my birthday. I was really quite excited now for Saturday, even though I was still a bit nervous.
Of course I had Drama, and it was really fun. We are still playing around with some ideas and wow it is going to be neat I think. It is the smallest cast I have ever worked with and the most serious play I have ever done and of course the first German play I have ever done so it is an entirely new experience. I think the drama kids really like me so I feel really comfortable there. We are going to be going on a trip together in November. I am so excited because I will be going too!
Friday was a pretty relaxed day. I went to school only until 11:40 because they were writing a big test so they said it wasn't necessary for me to stay. I took the bus home and while I was on the bus a young German girl approached me. She is on the bus in the mornings too when I go to school. She crawled under the seat to come and say Hi to me. I moved my bag and she sat down beside me. We had a conversation in German. She was adorable!! And I understood her!!! She understood me!! She talked about her family, her house, and she wanted to know where I came from. It was really neat and she was an adorable kid. She had strawberry blonde hair which was in a scrunchy on the top of her head. She was precious!!
When I got home, I went for a nice hour long walk with Anton and then for another half hour run. It is breathtaking in the forest here. The weather was also beautiful. I saw a beautiful blue sky again! Anton is currently lusting after a female dog in the neighbourhood. Actually, all the male dogs are. Apparently she is bleeding right now and they can all smell it. Anyways he whines all the time and when we went for a walk he had to pee on everything. I think he wanted to make sure that she knew he existed. Anton, the dog, also had to smell everthing. I think she had been out for a walk with her owners. He is such a goofy dog right now.
That evening I went to the party that my 3rd guest family hosted. Renato, the other exchange student in my Rotary Club was also there. I was so relieved to have him there to talk to. I have to say that meeting them made me realize how soon I will be moving families. It feels like I am just really finding my place here in this family and the awkward stage is definetly over. On October 30th I move to my next family. I am excited for the change, but at the same time I have grown quite comfortable here.
The party was pretty good. My second host family was there and we got to talk a bit. They are really nice people. The food was great, there was some good music, but it was a pretty late night. That leads me to today, the day of the party.
I slept in pretty late, but I was the first one up. I went downstairs and Anton was making a fuss. I thought maybe he just had to go to the bathroom. So I let him outside in the backyard. Just as I let him out I remembered what Stephan had said about him having a couple secret ways out of the garden and how he was VERY interested in the female dog down the street. Well Anton disappered into the bushes and I ran to grab my shoes. I searched the whole backyard and realized he was gone.
Well I was freaking out a little. I had just lost the family's dog and he might impregnate the neighbour's dog and they wouldn't be thrilled about that either. Wow I was in trouble. I heard some barking which definetly wasn't coming from the backyard so I rush into the front yard, just as the front door is opening. There is Stephan. So I sheepishly explain to him what's happened. He says not to worry about it. I think my jaw hit the floor. I JUST LOST YOUR DOG!
Then he said that Anton was right there. Lo and behold there is Anton in the driveway looking ridiculously happy with himself. I couldn't believe it! So crisis averted. PHEW! So we got him back inside and we sat down for breakfast. Then we both realized that the back door was still open and that Anton had disappeared again. We heard barking and both got up to find Anton had escaped again and had found company...another dog!
So Stephan went out and retreieved Anton. Luckily the other dog was with it's owner so it was OK. I closed the back door and Anton has been safely inside ever since besides his short excursions with a "babysitter" in the great outdoors. Oh Anton...
Stephan and I baked another cake. This time it was an Apple Streusel Cake. (They have an apple tree here, so we used fresh apples. Pretty cool!!) So we decked out the table again. I was so nervous, but really excited. All of the girls came and it was great. They all knew each other fairly well so there were no awkward silences. They included me in the conversations, but not too much so I was never overwhelmed. Everything was perfect. They were going to stay for a supper of raclette. (I'll explain that later.)
So one of the girl's suggested we go to a nearby city and go out on the town. So we did. It was really fun, we shopped a little and went to cafe. We had a great time! Then we came back to the house and had a wonderful supper of raclette. I would encourage you to look it up on Wiki for a good explanation. It's this hot plate with a grill ontop and there are these small pans that you can put into it that you can cook food on. It's really fun. We had all sorts of veggies, meat, and cheese which we cooked and grilled. It was like a fondu party kind of. It was ridiculously fun! Then we had icecream and they also brought me presents. It was really nice.
I had a great time. Stephan is an angel. He put together the stuff for supper while we were gone. He absolutely didn't have to do that. I thanked him a lot tonight. He is such a nice guy and he's been so good to me. The girls stayed until 9:30 pm and they arrived at 3 pm. So it was a success and I think I am forming some friendships. So I am starting to fit in a bit more here. I am so excited about that!
So my birthday was something I was pretty nervous about, but it ended up being wonderful. The day itself was great and so was the party. I will never forget it. I am also now an adult. So I spent this milestone not among strangers, but among people who want to know me better and make my birthday special and a success.
Well it is really late reader and this post has been pretty long. Thanks for bearing with me. I will post some photo's later, but soon it will be 2:30 AM and I really need to catch up on sleep not lose anymore! Goodnight!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Finally 18!
I just wanted to write a quick thing on my blog before I went to sleep. When I say quick I do really mean quick because it is really late and I have a very early start tomorrow. (I'll fill you in on all the details later. Promise, promise!!!) So I am offically 18!!!! Well not officially until late evening in Canada, but it is September 24th here in Deutschland so therefore I am 18. Bahhhh I am soo excited and guess what???? This is the first birthday that I actually feel older. Seriously, I do feel older!
I've waited so long to become and adult and I can hardly believe that I am. I am pretty excited about this! I had an awesome birthday. I will fill you in on all the juicy details later! I just had to share my excitment. Thank you for the cards, e-mails, face book messages, and e-cards they were really appreciated. As usual I miss you all and I hope everything is awesome where you are. Until next time reader!
All my love,
Marita
I've waited so long to become and adult and I can hardly believe that I am. I am pretty excited about this! I had an awesome birthday. I will fill you in on all the juicy details later! I just had to share my excitment. Thank you for the cards, e-mails, face book messages, and e-cards they were really appreciated. As usual I miss you all and I hope everything is awesome where you are. Until next time reader!
All my love,
Marita
Friday, September 19, 2008
Feelings...The F word
I'm going to talk about this title at the end of the blog. So feel free to read that first if you like, but I would rather start by bringing you up to date with all of my life happenings.
So my new scaves were pretty much a life saver this week. The windows were always being opened, usually by a male. I can no longer say always because some girls have started doing it to and I can't say just teenage boys because the male teachers are also doing it. It was definetly chilly here. Autumn has really hit and I wore my long, black, winter jacket all week. I could have even used gloves today, but I forgot them at the house. Heck I could wear my gloves all day at school. I still don't understand this opening windows phenomenon!
Oh that reminds me of a funny story! So the bedroomo I inhabit here is actually Stephan's old room. (This is important reader.) I also have his computer in my room so he asked if he could use it while I was watching some Gilmore Girls in the living room. I said that would be fine, like I mean it is his room, even though I am borrowing it for awhile doesn't give me the right to say of course you can't. So he was using the computer. (I had just finished telling him about how I didn't understand why people were always opening the windows when it was so cold.) <---This is important reader.
So after he was finished using the computer he came out. I was just coming upstairs, when he yelled CRAP and ran back into my room. He came back out and told me that he had opened the window while he was in there and had just run in to close it. We both laughed pretty hard. So it is offically a German thing to open the windows no matter how cold it is!
So back to scarves. Scarves are great, so are sweaters. I love sweaters! I really think that I could wear gloves all the time in the classroom though. Jeeze it is so cold. Forget about wearing a t-shirt. In the winter you could do that in my school because people didn't open the windows and we had a heater. There is no way I am going to pull a stunt like that here!
Marion, my host mother, and I were talking one evening this week I'm not sure which one, it doesn't really matter when. Anyways we were talking about Germany and it's differences with Canada. She asked me if I found the people colder here than in Canada. Marie's, the daugher of my second host family who is currently in Canada, mother asked me the same question and I quickly said that I hadn't experienced that.
Well reader, when Marion brought it up I have to say that yes I have found them colder. My first host family has not been cold, neither have the Rotarians, or my second host family, but people at school definetly are. I talked about the ignoring thing in a previous post and that is part of it. A lot of the time I am completely invisible to them. The ice is just starting to break. People are starting to aknowledge me, but it is a very slow process.
It is a little bit hard and I am so lucky that I have Theresa. If I had been by myself, oh gosh I don't even want to think about that. At least with her I have a group of people to be with, and they are the ones who are starting to aknowledge me more. Some of the other kids are too, but I have noticed this more so with Theresa's friends. The thing I have to remember is that it has nothing to do with me as a person, it's just the way they are. So I am kind, I smile, I hold open doors, and just generally be my likeable self and I think that is breaking down some of the barriers. It's a slow process, but the flip side to this coin is that although Germans are said to be cold, they also say that once a friendship is developed it is a very strong one.
My Politics teacher has continued to be very kind to me. I have three lessons with him in a week and after everyone he comes over to me and asks what I understood in the class and then explains to me the gist of the lesson. I am so touched that he has taken the time and effort to do that. Guess what reader?? On Wednesday in one of his classes I understood the gist of the class conversation. I actually understood what was going on around me! By no means did I understood all the teacher said, or the things the students said, but I understood the gist and some of the individual comments. Incredible?? Ya tell me about it, it felt incredible.
On Wednesday after school I helped Stephan pick apples from their apple tree and clean up all of the bad ones. It wasn't exactly how I expected to spend my afternoon, but I didn't mind. It was a new experience and it felt good to be giving something back to the family. In the evening
Stephan took me bowling again with his friends. I had a bit of a rough start, but the second round of bowling I did really quite well. It was fun and one of his friends and I had little conversations in German. I really appreciated her taking an interest in me. At this bowling place if you roll high numbers two dices you can save money on your bowling. I rolled last time really well. I saved them 10 Euros and this time again I was lucky and I saved them 12 Euros. So I'm lucky. Hehehe
That brings me to Thursday. The day was long, Drama was good. We are going to be going on a trip with the cast. I am pretty excited. It will be in November for 3 or 4 days. I am jazzed about that!!! We will probably be performing the play in January. We are still playing around with ideas of how to portray a crazy person and the voices that Deborah hears. It's pretty neat.
I have a pretty interesting story which happened today. Theresa and I came to school and we had one class which was cancelled. So we walked over to a table with one of the "popular guys". I was pretty shocked that we did this, but at the same time not quite so shocked. I was shocked because Theresa isn't one of the quote on quote popular girls. I would definetly never see this happen at my school.
I find that the groups in Canada are very clearly defined. In Germany the groups exist, but they aren't quite as clear. I knew that he was from the quote on quote popular group, but everybody talks with everyone here. There also isn't a quote on quote nerd group. There isn't a nerd group because this is a high school which is only for students who are going to University. There are three different types of high schools which students are streamed into. This one is for the brightest kids. So there are still all of the different groups, but intelligence is admired and sought after. To be a nerd in our society is usually given a negative light. That is not the case here. I like that lol.
Back to the table. So Theresa and I sat down with him. They talked a little and it was no big deal. They were both doing homework so I started working on my German. All of a sudden he asks if he can see what I was doing. I reluctantley gave him the papers with the 20 words that I had memorized yesterday and had been testing myself on. He looks at the paper and says, in German, how cool it is what I am doing. Well I think my jaw hit the floor. THEN, oh yes reader it is not over yet, he began testing me. He would read a word in English and I would tell him the word in German. He kept repeating how cool it was that I was doing this. Then he gave it back to me and let me keep working. I was completely floored. Maybe I shouldn't have been, but I completely was.
So now to the title of my blog. The real F word...feelings. People are pretty scared of that word. To feel anything, any kind of emotion is to cross into a world of little control and to feel completely vulnerable. Some people can't handle that, but I think it's important to connect with ones feelings no matter what they are. Yes feeling can be terrifying, but I think it's scarier not to feel.
Yesterday was a hard day for me. I've had a few days when I've felt down, but until yesterday they were just little blips on the radar. My day at school was fine, because lets face it lol it was a THURSDAY. I LOVE THURSDAY'S. Thursdays equal Drama and Drama equals happiness. It was after Drama when I got home that things started to get a bit rough for a lot of reasons.
The biggest reason is that my birthday is coming up. I don't remember ever having a birthday when I wasn't with my family or my friends. I don't ever remember a birthday being really complicated or upseting. Well, this one is. My host family really want to make sure that it's a great day, so they wanted me to tell them what I wanted to eat for the meal, what I wanted for a cake for at home, what I wanted to take for a cake to school, what did I want them to buy me, etc. This was completely overwhelming.
I know that they mean well and they are just trying to make everything wonderful, but the fact is I'm a guest here. Lutz and Marion are not my parents, Jonas, Ann-Katrin, and Stephan are not my sister, and the little relationships I am forming at school cannot even compare to deep relationships I have with some of my friends. I'm spending one of the biggest milestones in my life among strangers. This was a slap in the face, a bit of a shock.
I felt very weird about telling them what I wanted. They were really insistent so I had to make some decisions, so I did, but it felt very weird. They also said I should invite some friends from school for a little birthday party. So I am doing that but, I feel really weird about that too. They barely know me, I barely know them...
So all of these questions and decisions about my birthday have happened in the past few days and it stressed me out. Ontop of that homesickness has hit. I knew I would be homesick at Christmas for sure, but I wasn't really expecting it to hit on my birthday. So it all acumulated last night and I went upstairs to my room and let myself feel. I let myself feel everything. I put some music on and cried.
I don't feel comfortable crying in front of my host family. I'm sure they would be great about it, but crying to me is a very private emotion. I do and can cry in front of people, but only those that I'm really comfortable with. (The opportunity to cry also has to arise while I'm with them. And if I haven't cried in front of you that doesn't mean that I don't trust you.) I think it's also important for you to know that I trust my host parents and that they are taking good care of me here. This has everything to do with me, all of the stuff about my birthday was just the tip of the iceberg.
Today was an alright day. I got to sleep in a bit longer and school was shorter. The most eventful stuff happened after I got home. I have to quickly throw in a bit of background information. I bought some running shoes yesterday, because I wanted to start up running again. So today after we had eaten lunch and I'd chilled for a little while I decided to go on a run. Stephan ended up asking to join me and I said OK.
So I started running. Gosh did it feel good. I was also able to feel results, fast. I liked that. While learning a new language it often feels so slow, you definetly are making improvements, but it feels like a slow process. That's why running felt so good.
Back to running...it felt great to have my shoes hitting the grass, the breeze in my hair, but it was more than that. It was also really good for me emotionally because these past few days I have been feeling so many different emotions. There have also been awkward language situations where you just want to get up and run away. So I thought why not do just that. Now before you freak out, take away off of "run away". I am not planning to get up and run away from Oberellenbach or Germany. What I mean is, why not run to get rid of these emotions. I hope that makes sense, it does to me anyway.
After I got back from running I had some water, an apple, and a shower. Then I returned to the great outdoors, this time alone. I walked for an hour and half. This time I let my mind race. I just let it go crazy. I let myself deal with and feel all of the emotions I had been experiencing. After I got back I realized that my mind had slowed down considerably and I was much more at peace.
So lately I've been doing a lot of feeling. However, wallowing is not something I am going to indulge in. Now I've felt all of my emotions and I can move on from here. My shoulders feel like they have relaxed a lot. (That's where all of my stress, goes into my shoulders.)
I want to dedicate this post to my parents. While I was walking and sorting everything out I realized that I have a pretty good handle on things and that's thanks to them. I knew that I needed to connnect with me emotions and feel for awhile, so I did it. I've been realizing lately that my body and my mind have been stressed out and I learned that from my mom. She always taught me to connect with my feelings and listen to my body. She also taught me to trust my gut and "my radar", this has served me well here.
At the airport my dad had a speech prepared for me. One of the things he said really stuck with me. He said to go and have no fear. Now of course I'm going to be scared at times, but I'm standing my ground. The only running away I'll be doing is the kind with my lulu's and some sneakers.
I want to thank them for taking me on all those hikes, even when I was complaining. I want to thank them for taking me on walks and showing me the value of exercise. You don't really know what you have until it's gone. My bus stop is a minute's walk from my house and it drops me off right in front of the school. I have never walked so little in my life, so these hour and a half walks with Anton are really amazing. I never realized that would be something I would miss. I also want to thank them for cooking so well for me at home and teaching me about good, and healthy choices. Now that I have to make those decisions for myself I appreciate your example and that you took the time to teach me.
You've really prepared me for life. Of course you haven't taught me everything, but I need to figure some of it out for myself right? =P I feel confident that I can make the decisions I need to make. Thanks for all that you are and all that you do.
So now I have my plan on how to deal with all of these different feelings. So come on Germany throw everything you've got, because I'm ready. I was born ready! In some ways I think that my ability to plan has been my greatest strength here. I have planned how to learn the language and I've been following that and making progress. Now I've figured out how to cope with all of the different emotions I'm feeling, so that I am able to live life to the fullest here.
I think my second greatest strength is to stay positive. It's imporant to feel, but not to wallow. Negativity does nothing, but hurt you. It also takes so much energy to be negative and I need all of the energy I can get, just to learn the language here. And what does negativity give you...?? The answer is nothing. It only harms you and makes you doubt yourself.
This is such an amazing opportunity and I want to embrace all of it. I can't do that if I'm stuffing down my emotions. It also helps that I am at the prime of my life. That I can just go out and run for a half hour because I think that will help me.
That's part of the beauty of being young. Being young also means that there are so many opporunities and options. I can do anything, absolutely anything. That is beautiful, terrifying, and exilerating all at the same time. This is especially the case after you have just graduated from high school. It's like having your pen poised to write on page one of a diary. That is a wonderful feeling, but so is looking back and reading all that you have written.
So I know that I am going to be sore tomorrow, but I'm ready for that too. Mentaly I am in a good place right now, and I'm ready for the weekend. Thanks for your comments, e-mails, and support. You keep me grounded and strong. I miss you tons, but if you take away anything from this crazy long post it's that I'm OK, well better than OK. I'm here, I'm strong, and I'm ready for what ever comes my way. Oh ya and tonight I am going to be ridiculously lazy. I have TOTALLY earned it.
P.S. As usual the spell check doesn't want to do it's job, so you'll just have to find my spelling mistakes endearing. =P
So my new scaves were pretty much a life saver this week. The windows were always being opened, usually by a male. I can no longer say always because some girls have started doing it to and I can't say just teenage boys because the male teachers are also doing it. It was definetly chilly here. Autumn has really hit and I wore my long, black, winter jacket all week. I could have even used gloves today, but I forgot them at the house. Heck I could wear my gloves all day at school. I still don't understand this opening windows phenomenon!
Oh that reminds me of a funny story! So the bedroomo I inhabit here is actually Stephan's old room. (This is important reader.) I also have his computer in my room so he asked if he could use it while I was watching some Gilmore Girls in the living room. I said that would be fine, like I mean it is his room, even though I am borrowing it for awhile doesn't give me the right to say of course you can't. So he was using the computer. (I had just finished telling him about how I didn't understand why people were always opening the windows when it was so cold.) <---This is important reader.
So after he was finished using the computer he came out. I was just coming upstairs, when he yelled CRAP and ran back into my room. He came back out and told me that he had opened the window while he was in there and had just run in to close it. We both laughed pretty hard. So it is offically a German thing to open the windows no matter how cold it is!
So back to scarves. Scarves are great, so are sweaters. I love sweaters! I really think that I could wear gloves all the time in the classroom though. Jeeze it is so cold. Forget about wearing a t-shirt. In the winter you could do that in my school because people didn't open the windows and we had a heater. There is no way I am going to pull a stunt like that here!
Marion, my host mother, and I were talking one evening this week I'm not sure which one, it doesn't really matter when. Anyways we were talking about Germany and it's differences with Canada. She asked me if I found the people colder here than in Canada. Marie's, the daugher of my second host family who is currently in Canada, mother asked me the same question and I quickly said that I hadn't experienced that.
Well reader, when Marion brought it up I have to say that yes I have found them colder. My first host family has not been cold, neither have the Rotarians, or my second host family, but people at school definetly are. I talked about the ignoring thing in a previous post and that is part of it. A lot of the time I am completely invisible to them. The ice is just starting to break. People are starting to aknowledge me, but it is a very slow process.
It is a little bit hard and I am so lucky that I have Theresa. If I had been by myself, oh gosh I don't even want to think about that. At least with her I have a group of people to be with, and they are the ones who are starting to aknowledge me more. Some of the other kids are too, but I have noticed this more so with Theresa's friends. The thing I have to remember is that it has nothing to do with me as a person, it's just the way they are. So I am kind, I smile, I hold open doors, and just generally be my likeable self and I think that is breaking down some of the barriers. It's a slow process, but the flip side to this coin is that although Germans are said to be cold, they also say that once a friendship is developed it is a very strong one.
My Politics teacher has continued to be very kind to me. I have three lessons with him in a week and after everyone he comes over to me and asks what I understood in the class and then explains to me the gist of the lesson. I am so touched that he has taken the time and effort to do that. Guess what reader?? On Wednesday in one of his classes I understood the gist of the class conversation. I actually understood what was going on around me! By no means did I understood all the teacher said, or the things the students said, but I understood the gist and some of the individual comments. Incredible?? Ya tell me about it, it felt incredible.
On Wednesday after school I helped Stephan pick apples from their apple tree and clean up all of the bad ones. It wasn't exactly how I expected to spend my afternoon, but I didn't mind. It was a new experience and it felt good to be giving something back to the family. In the evening
Stephan took me bowling again with his friends. I had a bit of a rough start, but the second round of bowling I did really quite well. It was fun and one of his friends and I had little conversations in German. I really appreciated her taking an interest in me. At this bowling place if you roll high numbers two dices you can save money on your bowling. I rolled last time really well. I saved them 10 Euros and this time again I was lucky and I saved them 12 Euros. So I'm lucky. Hehehe
That brings me to Thursday. The day was long, Drama was good. We are going to be going on a trip with the cast. I am pretty excited. It will be in November for 3 or 4 days. I am jazzed about that!!! We will probably be performing the play in January. We are still playing around with ideas of how to portray a crazy person and the voices that Deborah hears. It's pretty neat.
I have a pretty interesting story which happened today. Theresa and I came to school and we had one class which was cancelled. So we walked over to a table with one of the "popular guys". I was pretty shocked that we did this, but at the same time not quite so shocked. I was shocked because Theresa isn't one of the quote on quote popular girls. I would definetly never see this happen at my school.
I find that the groups in Canada are very clearly defined. In Germany the groups exist, but they aren't quite as clear. I knew that he was from the quote on quote popular group, but everybody talks with everyone here. There also isn't a quote on quote nerd group. There isn't a nerd group because this is a high school which is only for students who are going to University. There are three different types of high schools which students are streamed into. This one is for the brightest kids. So there are still all of the different groups, but intelligence is admired and sought after. To be a nerd in our society is usually given a negative light. That is not the case here. I like that lol.
Back to the table. So Theresa and I sat down with him. They talked a little and it was no big deal. They were both doing homework so I started working on my German. All of a sudden he asks if he can see what I was doing. I reluctantley gave him the papers with the 20 words that I had memorized yesterday and had been testing myself on. He looks at the paper and says, in German, how cool it is what I am doing. Well I think my jaw hit the floor. THEN, oh yes reader it is not over yet, he began testing me. He would read a word in English and I would tell him the word in German. He kept repeating how cool it was that I was doing this. Then he gave it back to me and let me keep working. I was completely floored. Maybe I shouldn't have been, but I completely was.
So now to the title of my blog. The real F word...feelings. People are pretty scared of that word. To feel anything, any kind of emotion is to cross into a world of little control and to feel completely vulnerable. Some people can't handle that, but I think it's important to connect with ones feelings no matter what they are. Yes feeling can be terrifying, but I think it's scarier not to feel.
Yesterday was a hard day for me. I've had a few days when I've felt down, but until yesterday they were just little blips on the radar. My day at school was fine, because lets face it lol it was a THURSDAY. I LOVE THURSDAY'S. Thursdays equal Drama and Drama equals happiness. It was after Drama when I got home that things started to get a bit rough for a lot of reasons.
The biggest reason is that my birthday is coming up. I don't remember ever having a birthday when I wasn't with my family or my friends. I don't ever remember a birthday being really complicated or upseting. Well, this one is. My host family really want to make sure that it's a great day, so they wanted me to tell them what I wanted to eat for the meal, what I wanted for a cake for at home, what I wanted to take for a cake to school, what did I want them to buy me, etc. This was completely overwhelming.
I know that they mean well and they are just trying to make everything wonderful, but the fact is I'm a guest here. Lutz and Marion are not my parents, Jonas, Ann-Katrin, and Stephan are not my sister, and the little relationships I am forming at school cannot even compare to deep relationships I have with some of my friends. I'm spending one of the biggest milestones in my life among strangers. This was a slap in the face, a bit of a shock.
I felt very weird about telling them what I wanted. They were really insistent so I had to make some decisions, so I did, but it felt very weird. They also said I should invite some friends from school for a little birthday party. So I am doing that but, I feel really weird about that too. They barely know me, I barely know them...
So all of these questions and decisions about my birthday have happened in the past few days and it stressed me out. Ontop of that homesickness has hit. I knew I would be homesick at Christmas for sure, but I wasn't really expecting it to hit on my birthday. So it all acumulated last night and I went upstairs to my room and let myself feel. I let myself feel everything. I put some music on and cried.
I don't feel comfortable crying in front of my host family. I'm sure they would be great about it, but crying to me is a very private emotion. I do and can cry in front of people, but only those that I'm really comfortable with. (The opportunity to cry also has to arise while I'm with them. And if I haven't cried in front of you that doesn't mean that I don't trust you.) I think it's also important for you to know that I trust my host parents and that they are taking good care of me here. This has everything to do with me, all of the stuff about my birthday was just the tip of the iceberg.
Today was an alright day. I got to sleep in a bit longer and school was shorter. The most eventful stuff happened after I got home. I have to quickly throw in a bit of background information. I bought some running shoes yesterday, because I wanted to start up running again. So today after we had eaten lunch and I'd chilled for a little while I decided to go on a run. Stephan ended up asking to join me and I said OK.
So I started running. Gosh did it feel good. I was also able to feel results, fast. I liked that. While learning a new language it often feels so slow, you definetly are making improvements, but it feels like a slow process. That's why running felt so good.
Back to running...it felt great to have my shoes hitting the grass, the breeze in my hair, but it was more than that. It was also really good for me emotionally because these past few days I have been feeling so many different emotions. There have also been awkward language situations where you just want to get up and run away. So I thought why not do just that. Now before you freak out, take away off of "run away". I am not planning to get up and run away from Oberellenbach or Germany. What I mean is, why not run to get rid of these emotions. I hope that makes sense, it does to me anyway.
After I got back from running I had some water, an apple, and a shower. Then I returned to the great outdoors, this time alone. I walked for an hour and half. This time I let my mind race. I just let it go crazy. I let myself deal with and feel all of the emotions I had been experiencing. After I got back I realized that my mind had slowed down considerably and I was much more at peace.
So lately I've been doing a lot of feeling. However, wallowing is not something I am going to indulge in. Now I've felt all of my emotions and I can move on from here. My shoulders feel like they have relaxed a lot. (That's where all of my stress, goes into my shoulders.)
I want to dedicate this post to my parents. While I was walking and sorting everything out I realized that I have a pretty good handle on things and that's thanks to them. I knew that I needed to connnect with me emotions and feel for awhile, so I did it. I've been realizing lately that my body and my mind have been stressed out and I learned that from my mom. She always taught me to connect with my feelings and listen to my body. She also taught me to trust my gut and "my radar", this has served me well here.
At the airport my dad had a speech prepared for me. One of the things he said really stuck with me. He said to go and have no fear. Now of course I'm going to be scared at times, but I'm standing my ground. The only running away I'll be doing is the kind with my lulu's and some sneakers.
I want to thank them for taking me on all those hikes, even when I was complaining. I want to thank them for taking me on walks and showing me the value of exercise. You don't really know what you have until it's gone. My bus stop is a minute's walk from my house and it drops me off right in front of the school. I have never walked so little in my life, so these hour and a half walks with Anton are really amazing. I never realized that would be something I would miss. I also want to thank them for cooking so well for me at home and teaching me about good, and healthy choices. Now that I have to make those decisions for myself I appreciate your example and that you took the time to teach me.
You've really prepared me for life. Of course you haven't taught me everything, but I need to figure some of it out for myself right? =P I feel confident that I can make the decisions I need to make. Thanks for all that you are and all that you do.
So now I have my plan on how to deal with all of these different feelings. So come on Germany throw everything you've got, because I'm ready. I was born ready! In some ways I think that my ability to plan has been my greatest strength here. I have planned how to learn the language and I've been following that and making progress. Now I've figured out how to cope with all of the different emotions I'm feeling, so that I am able to live life to the fullest here.
I think my second greatest strength is to stay positive. It's imporant to feel, but not to wallow. Negativity does nothing, but hurt you. It also takes so much energy to be negative and I need all of the energy I can get, just to learn the language here. And what does negativity give you...?? The answer is nothing. It only harms you and makes you doubt yourself.
This is such an amazing opportunity and I want to embrace all of it. I can't do that if I'm stuffing down my emotions. It also helps that I am at the prime of my life. That I can just go out and run for a half hour because I think that will help me.
That's part of the beauty of being young. Being young also means that there are so many opporunities and options. I can do anything, absolutely anything. That is beautiful, terrifying, and exilerating all at the same time. This is especially the case after you have just graduated from high school. It's like having your pen poised to write on page one of a diary. That is a wonderful feeling, but so is looking back and reading all that you have written.
So I know that I am going to be sore tomorrow, but I'm ready for that too. Mentaly I am in a good place right now, and I'm ready for the weekend. Thanks for your comments, e-mails, and support. You keep me grounded and strong. I miss you tons, but if you take away anything from this crazy long post it's that I'm OK, well better than OK. I'm here, I'm strong, and I'm ready for what ever comes my way. Oh ya and tonight I am going to be ridiculously lazy. I have TOTALLY earned it.
P.S. As usual the spell check doesn't want to do it's job, so you'll just have to find my spelling mistakes endearing. =P
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Jane Eyre Moment, Losing Myself In The Whirlpool, Being Seen, and An Excellent Shopping Extravagansa!
Reader....I'm back! Hahaa so I left you hanging after my last post on Wednesday. =P So now it's only fair that I fill you in.
Thursday was pretty much cool. As always it's a super long day 7:30 am until 6 pm, but a good day none the less. My classes where pretty much the same, rather uneventful. Art however was great. It was only a 45 minute class today, but it went by so quick! I was really in the moment, because one of Theresa's friends had to tell me that class would be over in a few minutes so I might want to pack up. Haha. That's how in the moment I was.
Thursday's are also Drama! As usual Drama was so good. I think the students there really like me and if I'm confused about what we are doing they will help me out. We also do activities which I am able to participate in. I'm not sure if the teacher is doing this on purpose or not, but I really appreciate it. He talks completely in German and I'm starting to understand his directions a lot more than I use to.
We did some really neat activities. I'll explain a few of them to you! So he put on this really interesting music and we had to stand across from a partner with both of our hands touching their hands. Then we had to imitate what the person was doing. The person imitating would let the music guide and inspire them. WOW, it was sooo neat. We also did this with our hands out in front of us, but without having our hands touch, it was hard but fun.
We also did another activity which I like to call the Whirlpool. We've done it once before and let me tell you, it is excellent! Again this activity is set to music. We all stand in a circle with our hands on our chest and our elbows tucked in. Then we spin slowly towards the middle. Once we reach the middle we keep spinning and move around the little group of people in the middle. It is sooo cool.
Then we played around with a scene where Debbie comes to the mental hospital for the first time. I was one of the patients. The director also commented on my acting skills. I was quite proud. =) So needless to say I think I am fitting in pretty good here in Drama. I always leave with a light heart and a big smile.
I've also heard from my sister about what this years play is going to be at Churchill. Wow does it sound COOL! I am so excited to hear all about it and I am hoping for a video tape. Hint hint wink wink. I'm sure the costumes will be stellar!
On Friday my Sport class was cancelled so I got to sleep in! It was so nice. My classes started at 10 am and ended at 1:30 pm. It was ggllloooorriiiooussss. Oh and that reminds me! On Friday I was talking with one of Theresa's friends, in German, and we were talking about the weekend. She was saying that she was going to be pretty busy with school stuff, because they have a lot of tests right now. Then she said that once school calms down a little she wants to do something with me some weekend. OH MY GOODNESS! I think I died on the spot. (Of happiness. I just thought you should know I was happy and not mortified haha.) This is progress!
I've gone for a few more walks with Anton. He is so funny because he is starting to get picky as to where I take him. He will sit down and refuse to move, but when I go where he wants he can't go fast enough. I'm usually out for about an hour or an hour and a half with him. I wish he wasn't quite so picky, because I like going into the forest, but lately there is no way he'll go with me.
OH my goodness before I forget I need to tell you that I had a Jane Eyre moment! This is a literary reference people, I think the writer of the Gilmore Girls is rubbing off on me! There are always a lot of litereary references on that show. It's a good thing I read a lot! Anyways, so if you haven't read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brönte this may not make as much sense, but I will try to explain it so you feel included!
The scene in the book goes as follows. Jane Eyre, the main character, is walking in the countryside alone on a dreary evening. A man on a horse rides towards here and falls off his horse and hurts himself. He is a striking looking man not in a good looking way, but in a striking way. They exchange a few words and then he's off. (Oh and he has a dog with him. This is important.)
Okay, back to my Jane Eyre moment. So I was walking in the countryside on a dreary evening and a man on a bike (okay so it's not a steed, but close enough) goes past me and says Guten Abend. That's German for good evening. He had a face just like the guy fromthis book. (I also watched the movie and the guy they choose to play this man in the movie looked just like this man.) So I was the one with the dog and he didn't fall and hurt himself, BUT it still reminded me of the scene from that novel. Ok so maybe the siutaion wasn't that close, but it sure felt like it at the time!
I got home and the oldest daughter Ann-Katrin took me to a welcome back party for one of her friend's who just got back from Australia. It was wonderful. Everyone was incredibly nice and it felt like the first time in so long that I was been seen and noticed! People talked to me and included me. They made sure I had a place to sit, food to eat, and they made sure to talk to me. Some of them spoke to me only in German and we had small conversations, but I spoke completely in German and understood them! One of the guys complimented me on my German and was very encouraging when ever I tried to explain anything. There were others who I had some English conversations with, and others who talked to me in English and I answered in German. It was so great. The conversations ranged from me, Canada, my school, to Germany, the problems with the former East and West.
I also met a girl from my English class there and she motioned for me to sit beside her. We got talking and it was great, because I'd never talked to her before. Ann-Katrin really looked out for me and made sure I was OK. All in all it was the most wonderful evening. When I left everyone wanted to shake my hand, kiss me on the cheek, or give me a hug. They all wished me luck and told me that we would definetly see each other again. Wow...I know I'll always remember that night as one of my highlights here.
That brings me to yesterday. Stephan took me into Kassel to go shopping. BAH! I was so excited. It was wonderful. I made some excellent purchases and I also helped him shop. It was really fun, because I've never shopped for a guy before. I would pick something out and he would just try it on. He had a lot of success also so it was great. When I was shopping for myself he'd hold the shopping bags, give opinions, and just generally be very helpful. So it was a great experience. I have to say I was wondering about shopping with a guy. Most guys really are not into it at all and are actually difficult to go shopping with. Stephan however turned out to be great. He never rushed me and we had a great time.
Then we went to a friend of his in Kassel and we had supper there. They are really nice people and we had a good time. I've met them once before when I was with Stephan. When I left the girl, Yana, gave me a hug. Gosh it was so nice.
That's one thing I miss a lot here are hugs. I'm use to getting quite a few a day. Ask my family! It's not that I would want my host family to just start randomly giving me hugs, because it wouldn't be quite the same. They'd be giving me them because I missed it. I have appreciated the hugs Marion and Lutz will give me when I returned from Language Camp, or my weekend with the Wagner's. I appreciated it because it was spontaneous and they did it because they wanted to.
There are many different types of hugs and there is a certain one I am missing. I'm missing that hug where someone will hold you just hold you for awhile. Everyone has their own type of hugging style and there are different hugs that they can give you, but they still keep their hugging style. I don't know if that makes sense, but it completly does to me. I missing that feeling of complete security that that kind of hug gives you.
In some ways here I have had to be more independent than I ever had. Don't get me wrong I am still very much being taken care of. Like I'm not working, paying rent, cooking all my won meals, but I have to rely on myself in a completely new way. I have to make decisions and living with a guest family is not like living with your own family. I make sure my room is clean and the bathroom is just like it was before I leave. So there are things like that, but there's more too. I have decisions that I need to make about all sorts of things. In some ways this is really thrilling and exciting. At times though it gets a bit hard.
Like there isn't really such thing as a lazy weekend where I can stay in my pj's all day and not do my hair. (My hair is a pretty crazy sight after I've slept on it.) Well I could, I mean no one is going to tell me I can't, but it would just be weird. You know? I'm a guest so I'm not really comfortable doing something like that.
Oh before I forget there were a few things I forgot to post in earlier entries. First of all there is an Eco Disco here in Germany. Stephan was telling me about it. The power they use in the Disco is generated from people dancing in the Disco! That is sooo cool! I just had to tell you about that! I'm in a pretty small centre, so I haven't really been able to see much of the Eco scene here in Germany. I've heard it's big, but I haven't heard much about it. Although, in my little village there are a ton of solar pannels. Many of the houses here have solar panels and there is a solar panel field here which I go past every day I walk with Anton.
Another thing I forgot to mention is that when a teacher asks a student to speak they say, bitte shon. This translates to please. So when ever a teacher asks a student to speak he is bascially saying please go ahead. I really think this is cool. It seems quite respectful and I really think that's neat. It's like they are saying I want to hear what you have to say and I think your opinion matters. (I don't mean this as a slam against teacher's back home, I'm sure what we have to say matters to you too!) Another thing is that at school when ever anyone sneezes you hear a chorus of Gesundheit. I also think that that is rather cool.
Today has been a rather lazy day. I slept in really late. Ahhh that was nice. Then I've watched some Gilmore Girls. (I have now finished the first season!) They have the second season, so my German learning continues. Then I've just been catching up on things here and there. So thanks for reading, post a comment if you'd like (I'd love to read it), and most importantly take care. Until next time.
Yours,
Marita
P.S. On that shopping trip I bought some European scarfs. They wear them so many different ways depending on the shape of the scarf. I am so excited to wear mine this week. It's going to be G-R-E-A-T! Not only will I look amazing, BUT they are quite essential in a German classroom. Guys are always opening the windows. I think it's a German teenage boy thing. Everyone says oh it's so cold, but the windows are always open. I don't understand this phenomeon, but when I do I'll get back to you!
'Ciao. Saying that also reminds me, that saying 'Ciao is a popular goodbye here. I find this amusing. I'm really leaving now though, so see ya!
Thursday was pretty much cool. As always it's a super long day 7:30 am until 6 pm, but a good day none the less. My classes where pretty much the same, rather uneventful. Art however was great. It was only a 45 minute class today, but it went by so quick! I was really in the moment, because one of Theresa's friends had to tell me that class would be over in a few minutes so I might want to pack up. Haha. That's how in the moment I was.
Thursday's are also Drama! As usual Drama was so good. I think the students there really like me and if I'm confused about what we are doing they will help me out. We also do activities which I am able to participate in. I'm not sure if the teacher is doing this on purpose or not, but I really appreciate it. He talks completely in German and I'm starting to understand his directions a lot more than I use to.
We did some really neat activities. I'll explain a few of them to you! So he put on this really interesting music and we had to stand across from a partner with both of our hands touching their hands. Then we had to imitate what the person was doing. The person imitating would let the music guide and inspire them. WOW, it was sooo neat. We also did this with our hands out in front of us, but without having our hands touch, it was hard but fun.
We also did another activity which I like to call the Whirlpool. We've done it once before and let me tell you, it is excellent! Again this activity is set to music. We all stand in a circle with our hands on our chest and our elbows tucked in. Then we spin slowly towards the middle. Once we reach the middle we keep spinning and move around the little group of people in the middle. It is sooo cool.
Then we played around with a scene where Debbie comes to the mental hospital for the first time. I was one of the patients. The director also commented on my acting skills. I was quite proud. =) So needless to say I think I am fitting in pretty good here in Drama. I always leave with a light heart and a big smile.
I've also heard from my sister about what this years play is going to be at Churchill. Wow does it sound COOL! I am so excited to hear all about it and I am hoping for a video tape. Hint hint wink wink. I'm sure the costumes will be stellar!
On Friday my Sport class was cancelled so I got to sleep in! It was so nice. My classes started at 10 am and ended at 1:30 pm. It was ggllloooorriiiooussss. Oh and that reminds me! On Friday I was talking with one of Theresa's friends, in German, and we were talking about the weekend. She was saying that she was going to be pretty busy with school stuff, because they have a lot of tests right now. Then she said that once school calms down a little she wants to do something with me some weekend. OH MY GOODNESS! I think I died on the spot. (Of happiness. I just thought you should know I was happy and not mortified haha.) This is progress!
I've gone for a few more walks with Anton. He is so funny because he is starting to get picky as to where I take him. He will sit down and refuse to move, but when I go where he wants he can't go fast enough. I'm usually out for about an hour or an hour and a half with him. I wish he wasn't quite so picky, because I like going into the forest, but lately there is no way he'll go with me.
OH my goodness before I forget I need to tell you that I had a Jane Eyre moment! This is a literary reference people, I think the writer of the Gilmore Girls is rubbing off on me! There are always a lot of litereary references on that show. It's a good thing I read a lot! Anyways, so if you haven't read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brönte this may not make as much sense, but I will try to explain it so you feel included!
The scene in the book goes as follows. Jane Eyre, the main character, is walking in the countryside alone on a dreary evening. A man on a horse rides towards here and falls off his horse and hurts himself. He is a striking looking man not in a good looking way, but in a striking way. They exchange a few words and then he's off. (Oh and he has a dog with him. This is important.)
Okay, back to my Jane Eyre moment. So I was walking in the countryside on a dreary evening and a man on a bike (okay so it's not a steed, but close enough) goes past me and says Guten Abend. That's German for good evening. He had a face just like the guy fromthis book. (I also watched the movie and the guy they choose to play this man in the movie looked just like this man.) So I was the one with the dog and he didn't fall and hurt himself, BUT it still reminded me of the scene from that novel. Ok so maybe the siutaion wasn't that close, but it sure felt like it at the time!
I got home and the oldest daughter Ann-Katrin took me to a welcome back party for one of her friend's who just got back from Australia. It was wonderful. Everyone was incredibly nice and it felt like the first time in so long that I was been seen and noticed! People talked to me and included me. They made sure I had a place to sit, food to eat, and they made sure to talk to me. Some of them spoke to me only in German and we had small conversations, but I spoke completely in German and understood them! One of the guys complimented me on my German and was very encouraging when ever I tried to explain anything. There were others who I had some English conversations with, and others who talked to me in English and I answered in German. It was so great. The conversations ranged from me, Canada, my school, to Germany, the problems with the former East and West.
I also met a girl from my English class there and she motioned for me to sit beside her. We got talking and it was great, because I'd never talked to her before. Ann-Katrin really looked out for me and made sure I was OK. All in all it was the most wonderful evening. When I left everyone wanted to shake my hand, kiss me on the cheek, or give me a hug. They all wished me luck and told me that we would definetly see each other again. Wow...I know I'll always remember that night as one of my highlights here.
That brings me to yesterday. Stephan took me into Kassel to go shopping. BAH! I was so excited. It was wonderful. I made some excellent purchases and I also helped him shop. It was really fun, because I've never shopped for a guy before. I would pick something out and he would just try it on. He had a lot of success also so it was great. When I was shopping for myself he'd hold the shopping bags, give opinions, and just generally be very helpful. So it was a great experience. I have to say I was wondering about shopping with a guy. Most guys really are not into it at all and are actually difficult to go shopping with. Stephan however turned out to be great. He never rushed me and we had a great time.
Then we went to a friend of his in Kassel and we had supper there. They are really nice people and we had a good time. I've met them once before when I was with Stephan. When I left the girl, Yana, gave me a hug. Gosh it was so nice.
That's one thing I miss a lot here are hugs. I'm use to getting quite a few a day. Ask my family! It's not that I would want my host family to just start randomly giving me hugs, because it wouldn't be quite the same. They'd be giving me them because I missed it. I have appreciated the hugs Marion and Lutz will give me when I returned from Language Camp, or my weekend with the Wagner's. I appreciated it because it was spontaneous and they did it because they wanted to.
There are many different types of hugs and there is a certain one I am missing. I'm missing that hug where someone will hold you just hold you for awhile. Everyone has their own type of hugging style and there are different hugs that they can give you, but they still keep their hugging style. I don't know if that makes sense, but it completly does to me. I missing that feeling of complete security that that kind of hug gives you.
In some ways here I have had to be more independent than I ever had. Don't get me wrong I am still very much being taken care of. Like I'm not working, paying rent, cooking all my won meals, but I have to rely on myself in a completely new way. I have to make decisions and living with a guest family is not like living with your own family. I make sure my room is clean and the bathroom is just like it was before I leave. So there are things like that, but there's more too. I have decisions that I need to make about all sorts of things. In some ways this is really thrilling and exciting. At times though it gets a bit hard.
Like there isn't really such thing as a lazy weekend where I can stay in my pj's all day and not do my hair. (My hair is a pretty crazy sight after I've slept on it.) Well I could, I mean no one is going to tell me I can't, but it would just be weird. You know? I'm a guest so I'm not really comfortable doing something like that.
Oh before I forget there were a few things I forgot to post in earlier entries. First of all there is an Eco Disco here in Germany. Stephan was telling me about it. The power they use in the Disco is generated from people dancing in the Disco! That is sooo cool! I just had to tell you about that! I'm in a pretty small centre, so I haven't really been able to see much of the Eco scene here in Germany. I've heard it's big, but I haven't heard much about it. Although, in my little village there are a ton of solar pannels. Many of the houses here have solar panels and there is a solar panel field here which I go past every day I walk with Anton.
Another thing I forgot to mention is that when a teacher asks a student to speak they say, bitte shon. This translates to please. So when ever a teacher asks a student to speak he is bascially saying please go ahead. I really think this is cool. It seems quite respectful and I really think that's neat. It's like they are saying I want to hear what you have to say and I think your opinion matters. (I don't mean this as a slam against teacher's back home, I'm sure what we have to say matters to you too!) Another thing is that at school when ever anyone sneezes you hear a chorus of Gesundheit. I also think that that is rather cool.
Today has been a rather lazy day. I slept in really late. Ahhh that was nice. Then I've watched some Gilmore Girls. (I have now finished the first season!) They have the second season, so my German learning continues. Then I've just been catching up on things here and there. So thanks for reading, post a comment if you'd like (I'd love to read it), and most importantly take care. Until next time.
Yours,
Marita
P.S. On that shopping trip I bought some European scarfs. They wear them so many different ways depending on the shape of the scarf. I am so excited to wear mine this week. It's going to be G-R-E-A-T! Not only will I look amazing, BUT they are quite essential in a German classroom. Guys are always opening the windows. I think it's a German teenage boy thing. Everyone says oh it's so cold, but the windows are always open. I don't understand this phenomeon, but when I do I'll get back to you!
'Ciao. Saying that also reminds me, that saying 'Ciao is a popular goodbye here. I find this amusing. I'm really leaving now though, so see ya!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A Raw Delicacy, Walking...WITH a Dog, and a Chocolate Moment!
First of all, I just thought you should know that I love Wednesday's and today is Wednesday thus I am in a very good mood. I thought you should know that before I started my entry. =P So, you might be wondering why Wednesday's are so fantastic. Well reader I'll fill you in. I get off school at 1:30 instead of 3:50 on Wednesday's, so that is soooooo nice. I also have two classes of Art on Wednesday's which is sweet. The icing on the cake is that if it's Wednesday then that means drama is tomorrow! So clearly I think you can see why I love Wednesday's.
So before I get into all my crazy adventures I wanted to comment a little more on the differences of High School in Germany.
So in the region I am living in, a speciality that they eat is some raw pork with onions on bread. I have to say I was a bit nervous to eat it. I was joking with Stephan that I'd let him eat it, wait 20 mintues, and if he was still standing then I'd give it a try. Then he told me that if the meat has been handled wrong I'd either be really sick the next day, or it would take a second to kill me. Dang...well I trusted the people who handled it and took a bite. It was good, I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed living beyond the second I ate it.
Oh that day we also had this amazing stuffed pancakes. YUM. We stuffed them with pork (cooked this time haha), spinach, and sheep's cheese. It sounds really simple and it was, but it was also very delicious. I hope we make them again sometime. Stephan is the cook around here when he's home and lately I've been the helper. I don't mind though, I like to cook and it gives me something to do.
Many of you who know me know that I am very nervous around dogs, but somtimes I'm even more than a bit nervous. There is one dog in my life who I'm OK with and her name is Bonnie back in Canada. Other than that, I am extremely nervous if not sometimes terrified. Well my family here has a dog. When I first found that out back in Canada I was REALLY nervous. Then I found out my second family had a dog as well. Well I was thinking, oh my gosh what have I done! My parents said it would be good for me and as usual they were right.
I've mentioned already in this blog that dogs here seem to be way nicer to begin with, so I'm sure that has helped. Anyways, on Saturday I decided I was going to take Anton, the dog, on a walk. I went by myself. I, Marita Louise Paul, went walking, by myself with a dog. Unbelievable eh reader? That's exactly what I thought. Well I survived it haha and I've gone on more walks with him since. We'll usually stay out for about an hour and a quarter. It's great because he needs the exercise and so do I. I'm use to walking a lot more than I have been.
I'm also keeping a written diray here and I want to copy one of the passages I wrote in there to describe my first walk with Anton:
"I am walking and it is so quiet. The silence is relieving. I don't have to feel guilty for speaking English or stubble over my German sentences. I don't have to concentrate on German so hard that my head is throbbing. Out here there is no language, only blissful silence. All I can hear are my own footsteps, the sound of a light breeze in my ears and the click of Anton's paws on the road.
I'm still in awe of how beautiful it is here. Everthing is so green, and so heartbreakingly beautiful. The soft breeze is ruffling my hair and loosing my curls. It feels so right to be out here and I've missed walking so much.
I already know that there will be sometimes when I'll need these walks so bad. A few contented sighs escape me today, but I know that not every day when I am wandering with Anton that I'll sigh like this and be all smiles. I know that there will be somedays here on this road with Anton when the tears will flood my eyes and flow down my cheeks, but there is beauty both in tears and smiles. There is also a time for both, but today on the walk I shed no tears. Today the walk only moved me to smile."
Moving right along...Have you ever asked yourself what it feels like to fly. Well I think I've figured that one out. To fly is to be in a convertible on a German road with a German driver. People drive a lot faster in general here, although I always feel safe. So although they are driving fast, I have never felt like they were driving recklessly.
I don't think I have mentioned this before, but I am watching the Gilmore Girls here in German with English subtitles. Watching movies in German with subtitles is very helpful. It helps me to connect German and English words. Also, the actors and actresses enuciate the words so I have an easier time understanding what they are saying. That's one thing at school that is frustrating is that some people don't enunciate much, or mumble in German and then I have no idea what they are saying. All of their words are melded together and I'm lost!
I also went to a city near here called Kassel for their famous Night of the Mueseums. As the title suggets all of the mueseums in Kassel are open late into the night. Well I saw a lot of modern art which was pretty random, but that is no where nearly as memorable as one of the mueseums Stephan and I went to. Oh my gosh.
So the little blurb about the mueseum said it was a burial mueseum. Stephan and I assumed that it would be showing how different people through the ages burried people. Everything from the Cave Men to the Egyptians. Well that was certainely not the case.
Ok, so first I'll set the mood. Imagine some classical music, but not eerie and creepy music. Imagine something almost cheerful. (There was a concert going on at the bottom floor of this mueseum.)
So we went to the first floor and we got a taste of what the mueseum had to offer. It was all about the death of a child or an infant. It displayed clothing, caskets, and other things like that which you would bury a child in. Then in the next room there was a white table with white bowls, plates, cutlery, glasses, serving plates, things like that. On all of these there were german words written all over them. It didn't take me very long, with my limited German, to realize that the text was talking about the stages of grief. In this case for a parent. It was pretty creepy and it just keeps getting creepier.
The next room was decorated like a childs room complete with a bunk bed, clothing, toys, furniture and this shouldn't be creepy right? Well think again reader. Everything in the room and I mean everything was covered in pictures of skulls. I assume the artist was trying to symbolize the child's death and the decision of the parent about what to do with the room.
Stephan and I went down to the floor level. There we went through a series of rooms which I will sum up in one sentence for you. The vulnerability of old age. After that we left. I was sufficently creeped out and I literally left with chills. I couldn't even imagine how someone who lost a child would react if they had wandered into this muesuem much like Stephan and I did. So it was the most memorable mueseum I have ever been to, but I even have chills now just thinking about it. So needless to say I am moving on.
I slept a lot over the weekend which was glorious. I haven't done that in so long. Learning a language is exhausting enough but then I go to bed late and have to wake up early for school. So you might be wondering how school is going. That's not the easiest question to answer. So far I don't really fit in. German students in general are very outgoing. They have a very different definition of shy.
This guy at school asked me why I didn't speak all that much. I told him I didn't know a lot of German yet and I was rather shy. He then went on to tell me that he was shy, but he was talking to me. Well this kid is in all of my classes and believe me, he is most certainely not shy. I'm not painfully shy or anything, but it's difficult enough to be in a new school where you are trying to figure out where you fit in, but then not to know the language.
In class people from every social circle all have their hands up and have something to say in class. So naturally I am going to stick out. I don't understand enough in class to be able to comment. So people don't really know me and from what I have experienced so far they aren't going to make the first move to try to get to know me either.
However, I am really lucky to have Theresa. (She is the girl who I follow around to all of my classes.) She is a little quieter than some of the others, so I think she understands me a little. She has a Swedish exchange student living at her house this week. I could tell that she was so nervous and trying to think of things to say. Theresa looked at me and gave me a smile and if this smile could speak I think this is what it would have said, "I'm pretty nervous right now and I feel comfortable enough to send a smile your way. I could use a smile from you to make me feel a bit less nervous." I don't know if that makes much sense to you, but it did to me. So we kind of had a moment.
I'm breaking a little bit of ice now with her friends at school. One of them, Julia, has always been super kind and includes me just like Theresa does. The others tend to ignore me. Ignore usually has a negative connotation. I find that a lot of the German pupils ignore me, but it's a different kind of ignoring. I don't believe they are doing this to be rude, or because they have a problem with me. I think this is a bit of a cultural thing and I don't think they really don't know what to say to me. They don't want to speak English, they know my German is poor (improving, but poor), and I'm a bit of an outsider. These kids have known each other for a very long time and lets be honest. How many new kids come to this town, not many.
Anyways I hope that makes a bit of sense. I think I have broken a bit of the ice with some of them though. For instance one of Theresa's friend's and I had a chocolate moment. I gave her some of my chocolate and bam suddenly I exist a little bit more. She offers me some chocolate too and say good morning (in German) when she sees me. This is progress! I'm a chocoholic so this is wonderful! Another one of the girls has also started saying hi to me.
I only talk in German at school and some of them I think are starting to notice what I am doing in class. I'm not just sitting there, or falling asleep. I am studying German. I am working my butt off so that I can understand them and communicate to them in their own language. Some of Theresa's friends I think are noticing this and I think I am gaining a bit of respect.
I make simple, grammatically incorrect, sentences in German instead of speaking English. And you know? I'm understanding more. I am understanding more and more every day. Sometimes I am getting a gist of what is going on in the classroom, but more often I am understanding the little conversations I witness between people at school. Theresa talks to me only in German and most of the time I am now understanding her. I am making progress!! And I'd sure hope so learning 20-25 new German words everyday and using my German with my host parents and all the time at school.
Stephan and I talk more in English than in German at home, but he would like to practice some of his English and it's a treat for me to talk in my native tongue again. This way I also get rid of my headaches for a while. After school and during school my head hurts so much and my eyes hurt from trying to read German. I am rather clueless in general about German grammar, but I figure that if I can at least learn a ton of words I can understand what is going on around me and from their example I will be able to understand the German grammar more.
Some of Stephan's friends came over last night and we had a good old fashion German BBQ. I <3 bratwurts! Stephan and I also made some apple cake for desert which was tasty. I was very proud of it. I even had a little conversation in German with one of his friends. They also tend to do the ignore thing, so I get a sense it isn't about me. The ice was breaking a bit with them as well.
Stephan and I tend to a fair bit together because he doesn't work, and everyone else including Jonas does. Marion and Lutz are still great. They speak in slow German with me and are very encouraging. I also think that they like me. They have been so kind to me I really appreciate all they have done for me.
So all in all I am doing well. Today is Wednesday and I love Wednesdays. Art was sweet today. I like drawing eyes! Trying to draw mouths is difficult, but eyes I can handle. My history teacher is such a nice man. He came up to me today and talked with me a bit in German. Most of the other teacher's pay little attention to me, but he is one of the few who do. I really appreciate being seen.
I sometimes wonder what the teachers and students think of me. Here I am this young girl, so very far from home, who speaks limited German, and is so quiet. I wonder what the teachers think when I am concentrating so hard on them because I am trying to understand them. Or what they think when I am not listening to them but memorizing words or testing the words I am trying to learn. I wonder...although maybe I don't want to know lol. Maybe they think I'm nuts!
So that's my post. I know it's long, but I just had so much to say today. I hope you enjoyed it and as usual if you want to comment, please do. I read them all even if I don't have time to answer them and I am always so excited to recieve them. As always I miss you and I hope all is well with you. Take care. =)
P.S. Before you go I wanted to share some German words with you that I find rather amusing.
First of all if you hear someone say damit in German they are not swearing. That is the German word for thus.
Bitte is please even though is sounds like bitter which means something else entirely in English.
There are very few words that begin with the letter C in German. ( I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I am making my own dictionary of the words that I have learned. I must know how to say and spell them before I put them in there. Anyways I haven't written a single one for the letter C, you should see how many I have for W and S though!!)
Der Frosch is frog, even though it sounds like Frosh week at a university or college.
Schlimm means grave or serious it sounds like slim kind of.
So before I get into all my crazy adventures I wanted to comment a little more on the differences of High School in Germany.
- Students drink a lot of water. Everyone, and I'm quite serious when I say everyone, carries around a water bottle which is either 1 L or 1.5 L.
- Lunches are way different. You can buy an entire meal at the school cafeteria. It is so big that there is no way I could eat all of it. It's like supper for lunch. Throughout the morning students eat snacks all the time. The most common are these little sandwiches with butter and cheese or butter and meat inside. The bread is heavy and dark.
- On your birthday you bring a cake to school and share it with your class. There seems to be at least one or two birthday's a week of students who are in one of my classes.
- Speaking of which cake is way different here too, it's more like squares, but different. The one I've seen most often is more like a crumble with some fruit and a cake like crust
So in the region I am living in, a speciality that they eat is some raw pork with onions on bread. I have to say I was a bit nervous to eat it. I was joking with Stephan that I'd let him eat it, wait 20 mintues, and if he was still standing then I'd give it a try. Then he told me that if the meat has been handled wrong I'd either be really sick the next day, or it would take a second to kill me. Dang...well I trusted the people who handled it and took a bite. It was good, I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed living beyond the second I ate it.
Oh that day we also had this amazing stuffed pancakes. YUM. We stuffed them with pork (cooked this time haha), spinach, and sheep's cheese. It sounds really simple and it was, but it was also very delicious. I hope we make them again sometime. Stephan is the cook around here when he's home and lately I've been the helper. I don't mind though, I like to cook and it gives me something to do.
Many of you who know me know that I am very nervous around dogs, but somtimes I'm even more than a bit nervous. There is one dog in my life who I'm OK with and her name is Bonnie back in Canada. Other than that, I am extremely nervous if not sometimes terrified. Well my family here has a dog. When I first found that out back in Canada I was REALLY nervous. Then I found out my second family had a dog as well. Well I was thinking, oh my gosh what have I done! My parents said it would be good for me and as usual they were right.
I've mentioned already in this blog that dogs here seem to be way nicer to begin with, so I'm sure that has helped. Anyways, on Saturday I decided I was going to take Anton, the dog, on a walk. I went by myself. I, Marita Louise Paul, went walking, by myself with a dog. Unbelievable eh reader? That's exactly what I thought. Well I survived it haha and I've gone on more walks with him since. We'll usually stay out for about an hour and a quarter. It's great because he needs the exercise and so do I. I'm use to walking a lot more than I have been.
I'm also keeping a written diray here and I want to copy one of the passages I wrote in there to describe my first walk with Anton:
"I am walking and it is so quiet. The silence is relieving. I don't have to feel guilty for speaking English or stubble over my German sentences. I don't have to concentrate on German so hard that my head is throbbing. Out here there is no language, only blissful silence. All I can hear are my own footsteps, the sound of a light breeze in my ears and the click of Anton's paws on the road.
I'm still in awe of how beautiful it is here. Everthing is so green, and so heartbreakingly beautiful. The soft breeze is ruffling my hair and loosing my curls. It feels so right to be out here and I've missed walking so much.
I already know that there will be sometimes when I'll need these walks so bad. A few contented sighs escape me today, but I know that not every day when I am wandering with Anton that I'll sigh like this and be all smiles. I know that there will be somedays here on this road with Anton when the tears will flood my eyes and flow down my cheeks, but there is beauty both in tears and smiles. There is also a time for both, but today on the walk I shed no tears. Today the walk only moved me to smile."
Moving right along...Have you ever asked yourself what it feels like to fly. Well I think I've figured that one out. To fly is to be in a convertible on a German road with a German driver. People drive a lot faster in general here, although I always feel safe. So although they are driving fast, I have never felt like they were driving recklessly.
I don't think I have mentioned this before, but I am watching the Gilmore Girls here in German with English subtitles. Watching movies in German with subtitles is very helpful. It helps me to connect German and English words. Also, the actors and actresses enuciate the words so I have an easier time understanding what they are saying. That's one thing at school that is frustrating is that some people don't enunciate much, or mumble in German and then I have no idea what they are saying. All of their words are melded together and I'm lost!
I also went to a city near here called Kassel for their famous Night of the Mueseums. As the title suggets all of the mueseums in Kassel are open late into the night. Well I saw a lot of modern art which was pretty random, but that is no where nearly as memorable as one of the mueseums Stephan and I went to. Oh my gosh.
So the little blurb about the mueseum said it was a burial mueseum. Stephan and I assumed that it would be showing how different people through the ages burried people. Everything from the Cave Men to the Egyptians. Well that was certainely not the case.
Ok, so first I'll set the mood. Imagine some classical music, but not eerie and creepy music. Imagine something almost cheerful. (There was a concert going on at the bottom floor of this mueseum.)
So we went to the first floor and we got a taste of what the mueseum had to offer. It was all about the death of a child or an infant. It displayed clothing, caskets, and other things like that which you would bury a child in. Then in the next room there was a white table with white bowls, plates, cutlery, glasses, serving plates, things like that. On all of these there were german words written all over them. It didn't take me very long, with my limited German, to realize that the text was talking about the stages of grief. In this case for a parent. It was pretty creepy and it just keeps getting creepier.
The next room was decorated like a childs room complete with a bunk bed, clothing, toys, furniture and this shouldn't be creepy right? Well think again reader. Everything in the room and I mean everything was covered in pictures of skulls. I assume the artist was trying to symbolize the child's death and the decision of the parent about what to do with the room.
Stephan and I went down to the floor level. There we went through a series of rooms which I will sum up in one sentence for you. The vulnerability of old age. After that we left. I was sufficently creeped out and I literally left with chills. I couldn't even imagine how someone who lost a child would react if they had wandered into this muesuem much like Stephan and I did. So it was the most memorable mueseum I have ever been to, but I even have chills now just thinking about it. So needless to say I am moving on.
I slept a lot over the weekend which was glorious. I haven't done that in so long. Learning a language is exhausting enough but then I go to bed late and have to wake up early for school. So you might be wondering how school is going. That's not the easiest question to answer. So far I don't really fit in. German students in general are very outgoing. They have a very different definition of shy.
This guy at school asked me why I didn't speak all that much. I told him I didn't know a lot of German yet and I was rather shy. He then went on to tell me that he was shy, but he was talking to me. Well this kid is in all of my classes and believe me, he is most certainely not shy. I'm not painfully shy or anything, but it's difficult enough to be in a new school where you are trying to figure out where you fit in, but then not to know the language.
In class people from every social circle all have their hands up and have something to say in class. So naturally I am going to stick out. I don't understand enough in class to be able to comment. So people don't really know me and from what I have experienced so far they aren't going to make the first move to try to get to know me either.
However, I am really lucky to have Theresa. (She is the girl who I follow around to all of my classes.) She is a little quieter than some of the others, so I think she understands me a little. She has a Swedish exchange student living at her house this week. I could tell that she was so nervous and trying to think of things to say. Theresa looked at me and gave me a smile and if this smile could speak I think this is what it would have said, "I'm pretty nervous right now and I feel comfortable enough to send a smile your way. I could use a smile from you to make me feel a bit less nervous." I don't know if that makes much sense to you, but it did to me. So we kind of had a moment.
I'm breaking a little bit of ice now with her friends at school. One of them, Julia, has always been super kind and includes me just like Theresa does. The others tend to ignore me. Ignore usually has a negative connotation. I find that a lot of the German pupils ignore me, but it's a different kind of ignoring. I don't believe they are doing this to be rude, or because they have a problem with me. I think this is a bit of a cultural thing and I don't think they really don't know what to say to me. They don't want to speak English, they know my German is poor (improving, but poor), and I'm a bit of an outsider. These kids have known each other for a very long time and lets be honest. How many new kids come to this town, not many.
Anyways I hope that makes a bit of sense. I think I have broken a bit of the ice with some of them though. For instance one of Theresa's friend's and I had a chocolate moment. I gave her some of my chocolate and bam suddenly I exist a little bit more. She offers me some chocolate too and say good morning (in German) when she sees me. This is progress! I'm a chocoholic so this is wonderful! Another one of the girls has also started saying hi to me.
I only talk in German at school and some of them I think are starting to notice what I am doing in class. I'm not just sitting there, or falling asleep. I am studying German. I am working my butt off so that I can understand them and communicate to them in their own language. Some of Theresa's friends I think are noticing this and I think I am gaining a bit of respect.
I make simple, grammatically incorrect, sentences in German instead of speaking English. And you know? I'm understanding more. I am understanding more and more every day. Sometimes I am getting a gist of what is going on in the classroom, but more often I am understanding the little conversations I witness between people at school. Theresa talks to me only in German and most of the time I am now understanding her. I am making progress!! And I'd sure hope so learning 20-25 new German words everyday and using my German with my host parents and all the time at school.
Stephan and I talk more in English than in German at home, but he would like to practice some of his English and it's a treat for me to talk in my native tongue again. This way I also get rid of my headaches for a while. After school and during school my head hurts so much and my eyes hurt from trying to read German. I am rather clueless in general about German grammar, but I figure that if I can at least learn a ton of words I can understand what is going on around me and from their example I will be able to understand the German grammar more.
Some of Stephan's friends came over last night and we had a good old fashion German BBQ. I <3 bratwurts! Stephan and I also made some apple cake for desert which was tasty. I was very proud of it. I even had a little conversation in German with one of his friends. They also tend to do the ignore thing, so I get a sense it isn't about me. The ice was breaking a bit with them as well.
Stephan and I tend to a fair bit together because he doesn't work, and everyone else including Jonas does. Marion and Lutz are still great. They speak in slow German with me and are very encouraging. I also think that they like me. They have been so kind to me I really appreciate all they have done for me.
So all in all I am doing well. Today is Wednesday and I love Wednesdays. Art was sweet today. I like drawing eyes! Trying to draw mouths is difficult, but eyes I can handle. My history teacher is such a nice man. He came up to me today and talked with me a bit in German. Most of the other teacher's pay little attention to me, but he is one of the few who do. I really appreciate being seen.
I sometimes wonder what the teachers and students think of me. Here I am this young girl, so very far from home, who speaks limited German, and is so quiet. I wonder what the teachers think when I am concentrating so hard on them because I am trying to understand them. Or what they think when I am not listening to them but memorizing words or testing the words I am trying to learn. I wonder...although maybe I don't want to know lol. Maybe they think I'm nuts!
So that's my post. I know it's long, but I just had so much to say today. I hope you enjoyed it and as usual if you want to comment, please do. I read them all even if I don't have time to answer them and I am always so excited to recieve them. As always I miss you and I hope all is well with you. Take care. =)
P.S. Before you go I wanted to share some German words with you that I find rather amusing.
First of all if you hear someone say damit in German they are not swearing. That is the German word for thus.
Bitte is please even though is sounds like bitter which means something else entirely in English.
There are very few words that begin with the letter C in German. ( I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I am making my own dictionary of the words that I have learned. I must know how to say and spell them before I put them in there. Anyways I haven't written a single one for the letter C, you should see how many I have for W and S though!!)
Der Frosch is frog, even though it sounds like Frosh week at a university or college.
Schlimm means grave or serious it sounds like slim kind of.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A Horror Movie, A Must Read and A Photo Album!
So, that movie that I mentioned that some of the Inbounds made is now available for you to check out. It's title is We Tried To Make A Horror Movie, But It Didn't Work! It is soo funny. I have a very brief apperance, but you should still check it out. If you are interested, send me an e-mail or leave a comment and I'll send you the link. Also, I just finished that book that I've been talking about! It is an incredible novel which I cannot recommend it enough. I could barely put it down. We played around with some scenes in it for Drama today. I can't tell you how excited I am to be involved in this play. I am so excited!!!! BAHHH. I am in a good mood. =)
Once again here is the title 'I Never Promised You A Rose Garden' by Hannah Green
As promised here are pictures!! ENJOY!! =)
Here is a picture of one of the girl's I became close to who is in my district. (I bonded with a lot of girls who happened to be in the other district who I won't see again until the spring!!! *tear tear*) Anyways this was at a dance party that we put together, because one of the girls turned 18 while we were at the Language Camp!
Rocky Mountain Marshmallows in Germany! This is probably the best picture ever! German marshmallows go Canadian. Hahaha
My arm is the one with the black sleeve. This is Gawki (that's what he wanted all of us to call him, it's short for his name Gakushi) and he wrote my name in Japanese on my arm. It was way cool!
This is the legendary crepe shop in Wasserkuppe.
These are two of my good friends from camp. This is Muii from Thailand to the left and Jacinthe from Quebec to the right.
I told you I stuck out with my blazer!!
Here are some cool pins on my blazer! I'm not sure why two of the pictures are side ways. I've been trying to fix them, but it hasn't worked out. So I'm terribly sorry for the kinks I'll cause in your neck while you tilt your head and strain to see them the right way!
So here is a picture of the view from Wasserkuppe. This is where my Language Camp was held. It is the tallest mounatin in my province in Germany, Hessen.
Here are 3 out of the 4 Canadians who attended the Language Camp. We thought the bear looked like something we saw back home, so we wanted a picture. Hehehe
A door handle that is a pretzel. Isn't it excellent. Enough said!
Here is a group of us after we went on a night walk in Wasserkuppe. We enjoyed some hot chocolate here. YUM
Here a group of us at the camp fire at the Language Camp.
Here is a monument at Point Alpha.
Welcome to Hamburg. Enough said.
Hamburg the port city!
Aren't these the most random Taxi's you have ever seen!! Well they are all over Hamburg. RANDOM, but AWESOME.
Once again here is the title 'I Never Promised You A Rose Garden' by Hannah Green
As promised here are pictures!! ENJOY!! =)
Here is a picture of one of the girl's I became close to who is in my district. (I bonded with a lot of girls who happened to be in the other district who I won't see again until the spring!!! *tear tear*) Anyways this was at a dance party that we put together, because one of the girls turned 18 while we were at the Language Camp!
Rocky Mountain Marshmallows in Germany! This is probably the best picture ever! German marshmallows go Canadian. Hahaha
My arm is the one with the black sleeve. This is Gawki (that's what he wanted all of us to call him, it's short for his name Gakushi) and he wrote my name in Japanese on my arm. It was way cool!
This is the legendary crepe shop in Wasserkuppe.
These are two of my good friends from camp. This is Muii from Thailand to the left and Jacinthe from Quebec to the right.
I told you I stuck out with my blazer!!
Here are some cool pins on my blazer! I'm not sure why two of the pictures are side ways. I've been trying to fix them, but it hasn't worked out. So I'm terribly sorry for the kinks I'll cause in your neck while you tilt your head and strain to see them the right way!
So here is a picture of the view from Wasserkuppe. This is where my Language Camp was held. It is the tallest mounatin in my province in Germany, Hessen.
Here are 3 out of the 4 Canadians who attended the Language Camp. We thought the bear looked like something we saw back home, so we wanted a picture. Hehehe
A door handle that is a pretzel. Isn't it excellent. Enough said!
Here is a group of us after we went on a night walk in Wasserkuppe. We enjoyed some hot chocolate here. YUM
Here a group of us at the camp fire at the Language Camp.
Here is a monument at Point Alpha.
Welcome to Hamburg. Enough said.
Hamburg the port city!
Aren't these the most random Taxi's you have ever seen!! Well they are all over Hamburg. RANDOM, but AWESOME.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
A Vast Blue Sky...and A Wobbly Bicycle Ride
First of all I want to thank everyone for their comments, you have no idea how excited I am to get them! THANKS. =)
Currently I'm just getting over being sick. Don't worry it's nothing major, just a cold. My voice sounds a little funny though. Haha oh well. A lot of the kids at school also have colds. Cold season starts much earlier here than in Canada. The weather has been like Autumn. The German summer ended when I was away at my language camp. So I have been wearing sweaters, jeans, and long sleeve shirts lately.
So last weekend I was taken to Hamburg by my second host family. Oh gosh I was sooo excited! It was a 5 hour drive to get there, but the drive went by super fast. There was so much for me to look at out the window. When we arrived in Hamburg we walked around a flea market and we wandered into a few shops. Then I was introduced to my second host father's brother. He was a very nice man. He took us around the city a little and we had coffee at a little cafe.
Hamburg is a port city and a lot of ships bring in coffee beans which haven't been roasted yet. They roast the coffee beans in Hamburg because it's cheaper this way. Anyways, the air in Hamburg smells really sweet because they roast the coffee beans here.
Then we went back to his flat in the city. It was a beautiful flat and it reminds me of how much I want my own flat in a large city. Lethbridge has always felt a bit small for me and I've always dreamed of moving to a big city. Oberellenbach, here in Germany, is a lot smaller than Lethbridge. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. Everyone has been so kind to me, it's a great experience going from living in a city to a village, but I do miss a big city.
Also, if I was in a big city I would have more things that I could do independently on my own like going downtown to shop, sit in a little cafe, take a walk in a park, or visit a museum or an art show. Here, I do need to rely on others more to go out to do things, because one of the Rotary D's is I cannot drive. However, this is a cultural exchange and when would >>I<< ever live in a village? I have never seen that in my future, so it is a good experience for me. It is probably a good experience for my wallet too! Hahaha.
The next day the uncle, my second host father, and my second host brother took in a football game. (This was a present to my second host brother.) He was so excited and his team won, so I think it was a fantastic weekend for him. I spent time with my second host mother. We took a boat trip and walked a long a beach. The sky was sooo blue. Oh gosh...I've missed seeing such a blue sky with no clouds. The sun was out and it was so hot. It was like summer again. It was absolutely lovely!
That morning I also had the first cappucino of my life. It was sooo good. I'm definetly not going to become a coffee addict anytime soon, but every once and a while I think I might indulge. I've had more coffee here in Germany than I have ever had in my life. (5 cups in just over 4 weeks.)
Then we made the 5 hour trip back, where I tried to sleep. (I failed miserably at this.) Man I was so tired, but my brain just would not shut down. I recieved a warm welcome when I arrived back to my German home.
To my surprise another friendly face greeted me. Stephan my host brother is back for a while. I was excited to see him. We stayed up watching a movie, called Blow with Johnny Depp. It was pretty good. That reminds me before I went to language camp Stephan and I watched Kung Fu Panada. Now seriously if you haven't seen this movie you kind of need to see it! I know what your thinking, that this is a movie for little kids, but it's hilarious! Watch it and get back to me, aight?
Then I was back to school again. Most of my days in school are pretty much the same, so I'll hit the high lights. I'll start with a funny story. So I was sitting in Music class and I ended up being beside a guy I didn't know. This is unusal, because I am usually by Theresa or her friends.
Well this guy starts speaking to me in German. He asks if I am from Canada, if I speak German, and of course I reply in German easily to these few sentences. He then asks, in German, if I understand him. Naturally I say yes, but it was kind of funny because he asked that in German. So again I said yes. Now he thinks that I have a good handle on the German language. Not for long...dun...dun....dun...dahhhh.....
So there weren't enough music books so he offers to share his book with me. Of course he is the perfect gentleman about it making sure the book is more on my side things like that. Then he asks me, in German, if I understood the text. Naturally I said no. This vocabulary in the text book is way to advanced for me to comprehend. I can pick out a few words every once in a while, but there was no way I was going to understand the text. So he starts trying to explain the text to me, but not in English in German. So it was really sweet of him, but there was no way I was going to understand that either. He is using all of these big, complicated words that I don't understand. My face, must have been priceless. Quite quickly he got the idea that I had no idea what he was saying. Hahaha, dang well it makes a funny story.
Stephan is the cook of the house, so when ever I come home from school now, I have dinner courtesy of him. On Monday I came home to curry and he knows that East Indian food is my favourite. I am really lucky to be living in this family. This is just one of the little things that really picks up my day.
I went to another Rotary meeting. This meeting was at their other location, a modern hotel. The food was better at the castle, but the speaker at this meeting talked slower, so I was acutally able to get the jist of what we was talking about. WOW! One really interested thing at the Rotary meetings is they never clap, but instead tap on the table with one of their hands. Very interesting.
The book I need to read came yesterday and it was an incredible book. I highly recommend it! The title is I Never Promised You A Rose Garden, by Hannah Green. I will be reading lots of it tonight!
I've also now ridden a bicycle again for the first time since I was 10. I had a pretty wobbly start, but I think I remember how it works now. Haha. So many people ride bikes, so I had better get use to it.
That brings me to today. I got to sleep in because one of my teacher's is sick. There are no substitute teacher's here, for High School anyway. If your teacher is away or sick you get a free class. It's great when it's at the begining or the end of the day! So Theresa and one of her friend's and I went to a cafe before class. I had double art today, which I adored. I was in extremely high spirits when I left the classroom. We are just sketching, but I like it. I have never drawn before so it is a very neat, new, and exciting experience for me.
I got off at 1:30 and Stephan and I played card games, Jenga, Chess, and some board games this afternoon. He's pretty much like the older brother I never had. I've always wondered what it would be like to have older siblings. Now I get to test it out. I wouldn't trade my sister Julilla for anything though. When ever I thought about older siblings she was always included in the picture. I hope she gets to have a 'little sister or brother' someday just to see what it's like.
Stephan and I are going out bowling tonight with a few of his friends, so I'm pretty jazzed about that. It is currently rainy and overcast, but I'm in good spirits. I've had a nice day. Tomorrow is Drama again, so I am super excited about that!!
Thanks for your time reader!! Until next time...
P.S. I'll try posting some photos later on today, but right now blogspot doesn't seem to want to attach them.
Currently I'm just getting over being sick. Don't worry it's nothing major, just a cold. My voice sounds a little funny though. Haha oh well. A lot of the kids at school also have colds. Cold season starts much earlier here than in Canada. The weather has been like Autumn. The German summer ended when I was away at my language camp. So I have been wearing sweaters, jeans, and long sleeve shirts lately.
So last weekend I was taken to Hamburg by my second host family. Oh gosh I was sooo excited! It was a 5 hour drive to get there, but the drive went by super fast. There was so much for me to look at out the window. When we arrived in Hamburg we walked around a flea market and we wandered into a few shops. Then I was introduced to my second host father's brother. He was a very nice man. He took us around the city a little and we had coffee at a little cafe.
Hamburg is a port city and a lot of ships bring in coffee beans which haven't been roasted yet. They roast the coffee beans in Hamburg because it's cheaper this way. Anyways, the air in Hamburg smells really sweet because they roast the coffee beans here.
Then we went back to his flat in the city. It was a beautiful flat and it reminds me of how much I want my own flat in a large city. Lethbridge has always felt a bit small for me and I've always dreamed of moving to a big city. Oberellenbach, here in Germany, is a lot smaller than Lethbridge. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. Everyone has been so kind to me, it's a great experience going from living in a city to a village, but I do miss a big city.
Also, if I was in a big city I would have more things that I could do independently on my own like going downtown to shop, sit in a little cafe, take a walk in a park, or visit a museum or an art show. Here, I do need to rely on others more to go out to do things, because one of the Rotary D's is I cannot drive. However, this is a cultural exchange and when would >>I<< ever live in a village? I have never seen that in my future, so it is a good experience for me. It is probably a good experience for my wallet too! Hahaha.
The next day the uncle, my second host father, and my second host brother took in a football game. (This was a present to my second host brother.) He was so excited and his team won, so I think it was a fantastic weekend for him. I spent time with my second host mother. We took a boat trip and walked a long a beach. The sky was sooo blue. Oh gosh...I've missed seeing such a blue sky with no clouds. The sun was out and it was so hot. It was like summer again. It was absolutely lovely!
That morning I also had the first cappucino of my life. It was sooo good. I'm definetly not going to become a coffee addict anytime soon, but every once and a while I think I might indulge. I've had more coffee here in Germany than I have ever had in my life. (5 cups in just over 4 weeks.)
Then we made the 5 hour trip back, where I tried to sleep. (I failed miserably at this.) Man I was so tired, but my brain just would not shut down. I recieved a warm welcome when I arrived back to my German home.
To my surprise another friendly face greeted me. Stephan my host brother is back for a while. I was excited to see him. We stayed up watching a movie, called Blow with Johnny Depp. It was pretty good. That reminds me before I went to language camp Stephan and I watched Kung Fu Panada. Now seriously if you haven't seen this movie you kind of need to see it! I know what your thinking, that this is a movie for little kids, but it's hilarious! Watch it and get back to me, aight?
Then I was back to school again. Most of my days in school are pretty much the same, so I'll hit the high lights. I'll start with a funny story. So I was sitting in Music class and I ended up being beside a guy I didn't know. This is unusal, because I am usually by Theresa or her friends.
Well this guy starts speaking to me in German. He asks if I am from Canada, if I speak German, and of course I reply in German easily to these few sentences. He then asks, in German, if I understand him. Naturally I say yes, but it was kind of funny because he asked that in German. So again I said yes. Now he thinks that I have a good handle on the German language. Not for long...dun...dun....dun...dahhhh.....
So there weren't enough music books so he offers to share his book with me. Of course he is the perfect gentleman about it making sure the book is more on my side things like that. Then he asks me, in German, if I understood the text. Naturally I said no. This vocabulary in the text book is way to advanced for me to comprehend. I can pick out a few words every once in a while, but there was no way I was going to understand the text. So he starts trying to explain the text to me, but not in English in German. So it was really sweet of him, but there was no way I was going to understand that either. He is using all of these big, complicated words that I don't understand. My face, must have been priceless. Quite quickly he got the idea that I had no idea what he was saying. Hahaha, dang well it makes a funny story.
Stephan is the cook of the house, so when ever I come home from school now, I have dinner courtesy of him. On Monday I came home to curry and he knows that East Indian food is my favourite. I am really lucky to be living in this family. This is just one of the little things that really picks up my day.
I went to another Rotary meeting. This meeting was at their other location, a modern hotel. The food was better at the castle, but the speaker at this meeting talked slower, so I was acutally able to get the jist of what we was talking about. WOW! One really interested thing at the Rotary meetings is they never clap, but instead tap on the table with one of their hands. Very interesting.
The book I need to read came yesterday and it was an incredible book. I highly recommend it! The title is I Never Promised You A Rose Garden, by Hannah Green. I will be reading lots of it tonight!
I've also now ridden a bicycle again for the first time since I was 10. I had a pretty wobbly start, but I think I remember how it works now. Haha. So many people ride bikes, so I had better get use to it.
That brings me to today. I got to sleep in because one of my teacher's is sick. There are no substitute teacher's here, for High School anyway. If your teacher is away or sick you get a free class. It's great when it's at the begining or the end of the day! So Theresa and one of her friend's and I went to a cafe before class. I had double art today, which I adored. I was in extremely high spirits when I left the classroom. We are just sketching, but I like it. I have never drawn before so it is a very neat, new, and exciting experience for me.
I got off at 1:30 and Stephan and I played card games, Jenga, Chess, and some board games this afternoon. He's pretty much like the older brother I never had. I've always wondered what it would be like to have older siblings. Now I get to test it out. I wouldn't trade my sister Julilla for anything though. When ever I thought about older siblings she was always included in the picture. I hope she gets to have a 'little sister or brother' someday just to see what it's like.
Stephan and I are going out bowling tonight with a few of his friends, so I'm pretty jazzed about that. It is currently rainy and overcast, but I'm in good spirits. I've had a nice day. Tomorrow is Drama again, so I am super excited about that!!
Thanks for your time reader!! Until next time...
P.S. I'll try posting some photos later on today, but right now blogspot doesn't seem to want to attach them.
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